Wasting Time

The easiest way to waste time is to have no goal.
I was inspired by the story of Injap (Edgar Sia II), the owner and founder of Mang Inasal, a company of which 70 percent he has sold to Jollibee Foods Corp. for 3 billion pesos. He is 32 now.

As I read his story, I was suddenly reminded of my dreams, of having my own business, of helping create jobs for the many jobless pinoys, especially here in the rural areas.

Suddenly, I felt a sudden guilt for the time wasted for the past year, 1 year and 1 month to be exact, from the time that I resigned from my first company. 

For the past year, I didn't know what to do.  I've been practicing my english by reading some books, practicing for job interviews, passing resumes and going to interviews. Somehow, during those times, I really don't feel like  getting a job is the right thing for me. To be honest, killing myself is one of the things that crossed my mind because I felt trapped in a world where I can't fit in. Not the trap that you get when you are locked behind bars or put in a cage,but like being at the middle of the sea, or at the middle of the dessert...you're totally free, but  the horizon is  your inevitable boundary, and you don't know which way to go. I was clueless, and not sure of what I really want at that time.

Now, I don't experience those feelings anymore.  So far, I like learning the simple intricacies of our family business. I may say that my commitment for the past few months is partial and I handle little responsibilities, but now I really feel I could help and I could make a difference.

It's funny how we do stupid things unconsciously. Things that you only realize after going through all the undesirable experiences and after wasting precious time. And there are only few moments where your have a glimpse of the light, your paradigms shift, and your past beliefs crumble into pieces.

Yes, it was a confusing world after College. Suddenly, things are different. the game is different, rules  are different and goals are different. What will I do now that no one will give me grades, no one to set projects with considerable deadlines, or now that there won't be graduation for the next 4 to 5 decades(if you get lucky)?

My main point is that I missed to set a goal, because I didn't know(up until now) what is important to me or what are the things that I like to pursue. I just have to accept that at that time... I did not know.

The most important thing at the moment is having long term goals while always being at the present.I missed this feeling of having something to plan at night and looking forward to waking up in the morning.  Thank you God for the opportunities!

Push harder

I always run out of energy. But now, I want to push harder with my job hunting.

What more can I give. Is there really a limit?

Push harder. Push harder.  Let's see what happens.

The Internet is my New Bestfriend

Back in College, when I shifted from my Chemical Engineering degree to Electronics Engineering, I had a hard time adjusting to the new environment, especially with the people I worked with.  I remember when it was unbearable, I hastily went home, picked up the phone and talked to my bestfriend  about it. Our conversation begins with me complaining about people then shifts to us being mean, criticizing people and having good laughs.  It helped me a lot during those days.

Now that I am experiencing similar difficulty in the real world, instead of calling my friend, I turn to Google.  I type in the keywords and voila, I immediately find a blogger experiencing very similar situation, where other people who experienced the same thing gives some advices and words of encouragements. Internet has all the answers.

But I realized, I have practically replaced my friend with the Internet.  It provides credible references, gives more detailed analysis, is more accessible and minus the awkwardness of opening up to other people.

This lead me to ask, how important is personal interaction in building relationships with our families and friends?  How deep can relationships go if people choose to talk to various media other than being personally present? If you're a teenager, why not just talk to Google about your problems, instead of your parents?...in this way, you will not be scolded and you will not be put in an embarrassing situation.

Technology in all its efficiency, brought people around the world closer but also farther apart.

Bone of Contention

A difficult plight.

I want to read blogs that are real.  Many people use blog these days to increase traffic, gain some publicity and sell... sell stuffs, advertise and make money.  I want to do that too, make money through blogging.

But as a reader I want to read blogs that are real.  I want to learn and find out the real experiences of others, specially with those that I could relate to.

As a blogger, I want to share everything.  All my experiences especially those that others could learn from.  Mistakes, embarrassments, the NO-nos...based from experiences... in short, self-incriminating ones. Therefore, it's understandable if I don't want to reveal myself so that I could be more open.

And therefore, I could not advertise myself as myself.  So, I could not adverstise my link to my friends and family.

It's hard to reach out when I'm hiding myself for me to reveal more.

Must See

      My sister gave us a treat and took us to Trinoma today to see a movie.  While on queue, we were choosing between Twilight, Sorcerer's Apprentice and Inception.   Since no one is deciding, I chose the last option... Inception... and I was not disappointed.

      My expectations on the movie are low to start with. The movie surpassed it by three levels.  This is surely a must see movie. It's deep, abstract, complicated, a maze of twists and turns. The special effects are great, and the actors are really good (this is expected).  There were only few times that I heard people laugh, so it's not a cheesy nor a funny movie.  It's a movie that would make you think, speculate, and urges you to go back to latter scenes and understand the story.  People actually gave an applause at the end of the movie. How many times do people do that in a movie? I really love it.

      Now that I've set your expectations, you're not gonna love it as much as I do. haha. But at least you know what movie to spend your 170 pesos and 2.5 hours.  Have a nice day! 

It's Raining

It's raining and it's cold.

   I love the rain.  Back in College, I love taking exams when it's raining. Maybe because I feel the comfort of being inside a safe place while aware of the chaos brought by rain outside. I feel that class lectures are informal when it's raining, I'm at ease and would not take lectures seriously.

Here's my poem about rain,

   I sat on the window, my chin clinging on the edges of my arms

I'm looking upon the details of this picture I'm painting in my head

My eyes see the gray clouds, the houses and streets washed in monochrome

My ears hear the faint dab of color blue, and sparkling white of water flowing, 

and black like gloomy alleys, cold and damp

My heart hears the laughter, sees glimpse of youth and innocence.

Oh what an intricate piece it is, 

The rain and the life, inside the frame of this window where I sat.

So what dou you think? haha...As a disclaimer, I'll get ahead of you in saying...

"Oh talent, where art thou?".

Just be patient okey. Keep reading. I'll get better at this, I think...

Business Plan

While I'm hunting for jobs, a part of me is thinking about business.

I'm going to save enough then quit to put up a business.  Well, I'm thinking of selling some cloth(tela) in the Province.  I just want make some things accessible in the province.  How I hate myself for not being business savvy. I have designed some t-shirts before that I was not able to sell.  I got bankrupted because I've got nowhere to put the manufactured goods.

Now, I'm at it again.  Someday, I will run a business and be happy with what I'm doing.  Which lead me to think, why should I wait for someday to come before being happy with what I'm doing.  That's why I try to remind myself everyday, to appreciate and count the blessing that I have each day.

Business. business.