Pathetic

Well, this should be one of the most pathetic situations I've experienced.

I am taking an exam today for an RPG trainee position. I got up, washed and put on a smart casual outfit that I had prepared last night.  While I'm putting on my shoes, our house manager(our helper, who's taking care of our budget and stuff) asked me, "do you have money?".  I said, "No, I don't have any." She said, "Well, we don't have money."

I was embarrassed. My younger brother, upon hearing, even looked at me like he was really sorry with my situation. I was caught off-guard really. My first reaction was, "Oh, okey. Then I shouldn't be going then." Pathetic, now I don't even have money to go out of the house and find a job.  Then she said, "Oh, I still have 500 pesos in there. If you want, let split it up."  I thought, "so, now she has money, the nerve she got for making me feel unfortunate." I'm really pitiful at that time, pathetic.

I looked inside my bag and inside my pants'pockets and I saw some 120 pesos.  That I used to go from Kalookan to Makati and back, with an extra for a cookie and shawarma.

I really should find a job already.  I can't live like this anymore.