Well, this should be one of the most pathetic situations I've experienced.
I am taking an exam today for an RPG trainee position. I got up, washed and put on a smart casual outfit that I had prepared last night. While I'm putting on my shoes, our house manager(our helper, who's taking care of our budget and stuff) asked me, "do you have money?". I said, "No, I don't have any." She said, "Well, we don't have money."
I was embarrassed. My younger brother, upon hearing, even looked at me like he was really sorry with my situation. I was caught off-guard really. My first reaction was, "Oh, okey. Then I shouldn't be going then." Pathetic, now I don't even have money to go out of the house and find a job. Then she said, "Oh, I still have 500 pesos in there. If you want, let split it up." I thought, "so, now she has money, the nerve she got for making me feel unfortunate." I'm really pitiful at that time, pathetic.
I looked inside my bag and inside my pants'pockets and I saw some 120 pesos. That I used to go from Kalookan to Makati and back, with an extra for a cookie and shawarma.
I really should find a job already. I can't live like this anymore.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Give them a Chance
I remember on my first job, I thought, "I should give people a chance to get this job. If people want it and I don't like it, I would not take it from them."
Right now, I would fight tooth and nail for a job. "Give them a chance"...what a noble act, used in a not so noble way. In many ways, this is but a rationalization. Entry level jobs are menial. Most jobs are menial.
I am not that regretful though, about quiting my job on impulse and learning a lesson the hard way....hehe
Right now, I would fight tooth and nail for a job. "Give them a chance"...what a noble act, used in a not so noble way. In many ways, this is but a rationalization. Entry level jobs are menial. Most jobs are menial.
I am not that regretful though, about quiting my job on impulse and learning a lesson the hard way....hehe
Website Idea
What if there's a blog...(most probably, there is already)...when pictures/images are to be posted, and a famous and highly-respected photographers or team of photographers are going make a critic on the pictures.
The blog is for avid photography fans (there's a lot of them if you just look around) who wants to learn about what makes a photo special, or what makes a special photo different form the others...
Of course, there are a lot of pictures in the net already, in Flicker...in Google. For me, the thing that makes blogs valuable is that, the vast information there is in the internet, is being sorted out to readers who are interested in certain genre or topic. Just like what Google does, getting the exact information that the user wants.
This is what I want to do...but doing is very different from wanting, right? For now, I just want to write for my own pleasure of pouring in some thoughts, and archiving some ideas for future use.
The blog is for avid photography fans (there's a lot of them if you just look around) who wants to learn about what makes a photo special, or what makes a special photo different form the others...
Of course, there are a lot of pictures in the net already, in Flicker...in Google. For me, the thing that makes blogs valuable is that, the vast information there is in the internet, is being sorted out to readers who are interested in certain genre or topic. Just like what Google does, getting the exact information that the user wants.
This is what I want to do...but doing is very different from wanting, right? For now, I just want to write for my own pleasure of pouring in some thoughts, and archiving some ideas for future use.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
My Story
When I was in College, back in 2006, when I was still on my 3rd year, I took an exam, along with the top 10 of my batch and top 10 of the lower batch. I was really hardworking and very active in school back then. I was also an officer in the Student Council and a Class President. And among the Top 10, I was one of the four students who topped the exam and underwent the interview.
I got the scholarship. The scholarship covered my last year in College. And I signed a bond with the company, where I should be serving them for 2 years...
To cut the chase, 3 months while working at my company, I felt unhappy and depressed. I have been dragging myself to work. I asked myself, is this what my life would be from now on? When I was a fresh grad, I thought, jobs will be challenging and exciting, and companies will be needing my fresh ideas. I was idealistic on jobs. My expectations are high. And my self-confidence and trust in my abilities are soaring high. But all of them went crushing down.
As one writer says, sometimes, when we get so good in what we're doing, we forget how hard it is to learn things. I know this but I doubted if this skill, if the machines I am learning to use, are the ones I will be investing my life into.In short, 10 months in my job, I quit. I ran away from my bond. An easy decision that I might regret for a long time. But I could still say, that the time when I was walking away from that factory, was one of the happiest days of my life. I felt liberated. I put on my earphones, played a song and spread my arms and I felt like shouting... I'm free.
Fast forward to ten months after my resignation. I was hiding from people, out of mostly in embarrassment and shame. I was too arrogant. I was too arrogant. Did I really believe companies will hire me bacause I was good in school? Of course not... it doesn't mean that you'll be successful in the job when your weighted average is high. How could I defend myself now? I was the scholar, who ran out of his bond, complained in his job...sucked in his job. How could I sell myself now?
In my job interviews, I felt like talking to the HRs that I have disappointed and abandoned in my previous company. I could hear them saying, "It's payback time!". The worst is when a hiring manager told me "ayaw mo ng nahihirapan (you don't want difficult jobs)". Which is true in all sense, I must admit... but I need to pay the rent.
In these difficult times, I questioned a lot of things. The real life is really different from life in school. I try to clarify concepts that I usually here about life... about Passion, Dreams, Potential, and about working hard as a means in achieving your dreams...
I hear my Ego screaming for pain.
Ten months of job hunting, of dressing up, filling up application forms, walking out of grueling interviews, receiving rejection emails. I know, this is petty compared to other people's problems but I am not strong enough.
If you're able to follow my petty story up to this part, I should tell you that I have learned a few things...some might actually change the way I look at the world (I have become pessimistic due to many disappointments) and the way I should live my life.
I'll try to share them to you in the next posts...
I got the scholarship. The scholarship covered my last year in College. And I signed a bond with the company, where I should be serving them for 2 years...
To cut the chase, 3 months while working at my company, I felt unhappy and depressed. I have been dragging myself to work. I asked myself, is this what my life would be from now on? When I was a fresh grad, I thought, jobs will be challenging and exciting, and companies will be needing my fresh ideas. I was idealistic on jobs. My expectations are high. And my self-confidence and trust in my abilities are soaring high. But all of them went crushing down.
As one writer says, sometimes, when we get so good in what we're doing, we forget how hard it is to learn things. I know this but I doubted if this skill, if the machines I am learning to use, are the ones I will be investing my life into.In short, 10 months in my job, I quit. I ran away from my bond. An easy decision that I might regret for a long time. But I could still say, that the time when I was walking away from that factory, was one of the happiest days of my life. I felt liberated. I put on my earphones, played a song and spread my arms and I felt like shouting... I'm free.
Fast forward to ten months after my resignation. I was hiding from people, out of mostly in embarrassment and shame. I was too arrogant. I was too arrogant. Did I really believe companies will hire me bacause I was good in school? Of course not... it doesn't mean that you'll be successful in the job when your weighted average is high. How could I defend myself now? I was the scholar, who ran out of his bond, complained in his job...sucked in his job. How could I sell myself now?
In my job interviews, I felt like talking to the HRs that I have disappointed and abandoned in my previous company. I could hear them saying, "It's payback time!". The worst is when a hiring manager told me "ayaw mo ng nahihirapan (you don't want difficult jobs)". Which is true in all sense, I must admit... but I need to pay the rent.
In these difficult times, I questioned a lot of things. The real life is really different from life in school. I try to clarify concepts that I usually here about life... about Passion, Dreams, Potential, and about working hard as a means in achieving your dreams...
I hear my Ego screaming for pain.
Ten months of job hunting, of dressing up, filling up application forms, walking out of grueling interviews, receiving rejection emails. I know, this is petty compared to other people's problems but I am not strong enough.
If you're able to follow my petty story up to this part, I should tell you that I have learned a few things...some might actually change the way I look at the world (I have become pessimistic due to many disappointments) and the way I should live my life.
I'll try to share them to you in the next posts...
Brownout
I followed up my application at the one remaining company I had aplpied to. A horrible news, and an unusual one. They told me that I fell short of 6 points in the second part of the exam.
It's brownout in most of Manila today. No water, no electricity. A storm passed by last night. It's huffing and puffing, trying to blew our house down. I opened the doors and the windows to keep the pressure down and keep our house steady.
But I am not steady. In the morning, whilst awake at around 9am, the first thing that came to my mind is having no job, having nothing to do, nowhere to go, no companies to apply to... I tried drowning the thought by falling back to sleep. I have literal nightmares. I also dreamt when I was still in College, and everything was doing well. I stood up from my bed at around 11 in the morning.
I told myself, this is not how I should act. I tried going back to the story of one person I truly admire. Benjamin Franklin. A self-made person, not having educated in prestigious schools, but was able to succeed.
I opened my book and read about Java programming. I did not notice that the book I used when I took a class in C++ programming also contained Java programming at the later chapters. So this has kept me busy all day.
Sigh. Best of luck with job hunting.
It's brownout in most of Manila today. No water, no electricity. A storm passed by last night. It's huffing and puffing, trying to blew our house down. I opened the doors and the windows to keep the pressure down and keep our house steady.
But I am not steady. In the morning, whilst awake at around 9am, the first thing that came to my mind is having no job, having nothing to do, nowhere to go, no companies to apply to... I tried drowning the thought by falling back to sleep. I have literal nightmares. I also dreamt when I was still in College, and everything was doing well. I stood up from my bed at around 11 in the morning.
I told myself, this is not how I should act. I tried going back to the story of one person I truly admire. Benjamin Franklin. A self-made person, not having educated in prestigious schools, but was able to succeed.
I opened my book and read about Java programming. I did not notice that the book I used when I took a class in C++ programming also contained Java programming at the later chapters. So this has kept me busy all day.
Sigh. Best of luck with job hunting.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Someday
People have different attitudes depending on where they are on their job hunting or how long they are job hunting.
I am at the middle of the marathon. Although I have never been into marathons I can say this is a hard part. Running out of fuel and energy, while not being able to see the finish line. It's like being at the middle of the Ocean, or at the middle of the dessert. Unless you've been into such places before, in finding yourself lost into this vast uncertainty, where can one find the trust and determination that one day,you will find what you are looking for?
I am at the middle of the marathon. Although I have never been into marathons I can say this is a hard part. Running out of fuel and energy, while not being able to see the finish line. It's like being at the middle of the Ocean, or at the middle of the dessert. Unless you've been into such places before, in finding yourself lost into this vast uncertainty, where can one find the trust and determination that one day,you will find what you are looking for?
Not Again
This is yet another sad day for me. I just failed my exam for Software Test Engineer. Actually, I like the Software Developer position but I thought that I would not qualify for that. My plan is to settle as Software Test Engineer while taking classes or self-studying on how to program using Java, Perl, C++ etc. I have a C++ class in College but I think the exam for the Software Developer position is in Java (as what I've read from the forums).
I also took an exam at >> another company and fortunately, this time, I passed the exam. However, I left because I thought I failed the exam. They called me up over the phone to inform me that I passed and they scheduled me for an interview. But they texted me later that day and informed me that the interviewers will not be available and they will just contact me to reschedule the exam. I haven't got a call until now.
Today, I was left with one option. I should not call this an option. But at least, there's still a splinter that keeps my hopes burning. Last week, there wasn't any. Nowhere to start, nowhere to go. It's one of the most difficult times during job hunting.
I also took an exam at >> another company and fortunately, this time, I passed the exam. However, I left because I thought I failed the exam. They called me up over the phone to inform me that I passed and they scheduled me for an interview. But they texted me later that day and informed me that the interviewers will not be available and they will just contact me to reschedule the exam. I haven't got a call until now.
Today, I was left with one option. I should not call this an option. But at least, there's still a splinter that keeps my hopes burning. Last week, there wasn't any. Nowhere to start, nowhere to go. It's one of the most difficult times during job hunting.
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